Today’s blog post was supposed to be a continuation of the “finding your style” saga I started two weeks ago… but after the events of last night, I knew that had to change. Instead, today’s blog post is about Cliff. Well, more specifically, it is about us -- and our love for each other.

My day job has been growing increasingly stressful. For the last few months, I’ve been feeling emotionally drained and extremely demoralized. Cliff knows this and of course he cares, but I never expected him to care so much. Last night after another bad day, he told me how beautiful I looked in the dress I was wearing and asked me to help him pick out something just as handsome for himself. Then he let me know that we were going out. He didn’t tell me where and refused to answer any of my questions – it was a surprise.

The place Cliff whisked me off to wasn’t far from our home, but it is special to us. When we arrived, a reservation was waiting, and we were taken to a table in the back where virtually no one else was sitting. It was like we had the place to ourselves and for the first time in a very long time, we focused on nothing but each other.

It was lovely, and exactly what I needed when I needed it. Most importantly, it was a necessary reminder that life exists outside of work, and that taking time to focus on each other is what matters most.

Last night’s surprise date also made me realize just how special our own relationship is, how lucky I am to have someone in my life who loves me as much as Cliff loves me, and all the reasons I fell in love with this man in the first place. I don’t talk about our relationship on this blog often because it is private and something that’s just between us. But I also know we have something special, and I felt some of that should be shared with the world.
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So, without further ado, here are 8 of my favorite things about us.

We eat dinner together almost every night
This is a tradition my parents started and one I’ve carried through to our relationship. It makes me so sad when I hear that not every family eats together because this is one of my favorite moments of every day.

We're both awed by each other
I still remember the first time I ever saw Cliff, and I knew there was something different – something special – about him. Thirteen years later, he still takes my breath away, and I know I do the same for him (He’s told me so!). If someone would have told me 14 years ago that in 14 years from then, I’d come home after a bad day at work and Cliff Starkey would sweep me off of my feet, I wouldn’t have believed them.

We make a good team
Having a life partner you feel passion for is everyone’s desire; but having someone you can problem solve with, in my opinion, is equally important. And that’s one thing I love about me and Cliff: whether we’re traveling, dealing with difficult people or solving a home-ownership crisis, we make a great team.
 
We’re both from Nebraska
Silver Spring and D.C., especially, are true melting-pot cities. There are people here from all over the world, and we know so many couples who met here but are originally from different parts of the country – or even the world. That’s great for them, but I couldn’t do it. Nebraska is part of me, just like it is part of Cliff. Having someone who fully understands what that means, who gets my jokes and references, and who realizes homesickness for a fly-over state is real is everything.
 
We don’t follow traditional gender roles
Our relationship is definitely a modern one, and that’s one thing I adore about us. When it comes to house chores, Cliff does most (if not all) of the cleaning and car repair. I handle finances and cooking. And we share laundry.
 
He likes my cheekbones and I like his freckles
Like most people, we both have insecurities about our own bodies, but when we look at each other, all we see is beauty. Cliff loves my cheekbones and I adore his freckles and green eyes.
 
We both love animals
Considering we both generally like animals more than we like people, this one is important.
 
We've been together longer than most other couples we know
Cliff and I aren’t married, but we’ve been together since I was 19 and he was 22. Other than our parents and a handful of friends, we’ve been a couple longer than most of our married friends have been married… in some cases, by double or triple. That’s something I’m super proud of.

How much do I love Taste the World in Fenton Village? Let me count the ways!

This blog post was actually supposed to be a preview... but I was so jazzed from the energy of this event that I got carried away editing photos last night. Before I knew what happened, I'd finished with the entire collection!

What I love about this event is all the ways it brings together so many elements of my community. Taste the World is the largest restaurant crawl in the DMV area and draws hundreds each year! It showcases the best Silver Spring has to offer, including dozens of locally owned restaurants, the amazing people who live here and great entertainment. With new restaurants joining the line up and a pop-up version of Fenton Street Market to coincide with the event, this year's festival did not disappoint! 

Ahhh! I'm so stoked to show off these photos featuring the beautiful work of graphic designer Christy Batta! Christy and I have worked together on a number of projects, but this one was really unique.

Christy is working on a new website and came to me with a challenge: she needed to showcase not only the design of some of her pieces, but physical aspects of them as well. The goal is to show that good design isn't just two dimensional. Good design comes in all shapes, forms and textures.

To do this, Christy and I worked closely together. Generally, when it comes to product photos, I like to stage products on fun backgrounds and add in unique elements that speak to the items I'm photographing. For this project, though, the more we planned, the more we realized simple was best. We chose white to ensure her pieces would stand out.

I've never photographed the physical elements of design work before, but I'm so happy with how this project turned out. Be sure to head on over to Christy's website to see more!

I hope everyone out there had a lovely weekend. For me, it was the calm before the storm. I've got a double header next weekend, with Paul and Sarah's wedding on Saturday and Taste the World in Fenton Village on Sunday! It's a lot to pack into two days, but I know both events are going to be awesome!

Part of what made this weekend so great was the time I got to spend with my friend and fellow creative Christy Batta. Christy came to me with a really unique project: she needed photos for her website that showcase both her design talents and the physical elements of some of her pieces. This session was a challenge for sure, but by working together we accomplished some really cool things! I can't wait to share more soon!

Christy and I have done a lot of collaborating in recent weeks, and she isn't the only creative I'm working with on some really cool things. There's a lot going on behind the scenes, all of which will be revealed in due time.

With so many projects on my hands, I've been thinking a lot about self care and relaxation and what that looks like to me. That's what I'm using Memorial Day Weekend for! I've got some fun things planned, including a day trip with Cliff to Calvert Cliffs State Park. I've heard great things about the park -- including the fact that you can go hunting for sharks teeth there -- and after an intense grading/finals season for Cliff and so many back-to-back photoshoots and project for me, it sounds like the perfect couples getaway. Just thinking about the fun we'll have there makes me smile :)

I love capturing family photos outdoors, but there's something precious about doing an indoor session. Being able to photograph families in their home adds an element of truth and beauty that the outdoors just can't provide. That especially rings true with these birthday photos featuring twins Ari and Judah.

This session was actually supposed to take place outdoors, but a cold spell forced everyone inside. The change of plans didn't bother these two littles in the least. They were way more focused on the loving attention bestowed by grandma, grandma, uncles and friends who were all at their house to celebrate their first birthday!

The highlight of the party was their cupcake smash. We've all seen those hysterical photos of kiddos indulging in cupcakes and smearing it all over their faces... but Ari and Judah were hesitant to dive in. They took a much more demure approach in the beginning, but eventually got the hang of it! 

Happy birthday, kiddos! Stay adorable!

This is a really hard blog post for me to write, partly because the back story is complicated, partly because it means I’m exposing my own flaws to the world and partly because its just plain embarrassing. However, I feel it is important to tell this story because I don’t want other photographers, artists and creatives to fall into the same trap I did.

That trap is thinking you aren’t good enough.

You see, I never set out to start a photography business. It just kind of happened. I'm acutely aware that I have no background in business, and instead of seeing that as an opportunity for growth, I sometimes view it as a weakness. I’m constantly tweaking how I do things and am always on the lookout for ways I can better myself as an artist and small-business owner. For a long time, turning to the blogs and businesses of other photographers for help and inspiration was a huge source of comfort.

​But recently, I learned the hard way that relying too much on the advice of others can backfire. You see, I started to let people I don’t even know influence me in a very negative way. Namely, I was told that the key to success was finding my own, unique style.

I saw and heard this message over and over and over again -- so much that I started internalizing it. I became obsessed with wondering when I would find my style. The more I followed this path, the clearer the instructions got: signature style touches are inserted in the final stages of the photography process, during what is known as post-processing.

One specific photographer – someone who I admired and who is highly successful – even promised to show people how, and I fell for it. I spent hundreds of dollars on an online course thinking it would magically lead me to my style. It didn’t. Instead, this photographer showed the post-processing elements they apply to create their own signature look, and actually encouraged other photographers to copy their style.

​I didn’t think twice. I got sucked in. I spent hours trying to match this photographer’s post-processing style, and came away frustrated when I couldn't. I began believing that their look was the standard and if I couldn’t match it, I was a failure.

There was just one problem: I didn't need to find my style because I'd already found it. I had developed it years ago. I just didn’t recognize it because I internalized negative messages and believed there was something wrong with my photos because they didn't look like the photos another photographer produced. Instead of seeing that as a good thing, I took it to mean that my photos weren't good enough. That I wasn't good enough.

I didn't see the light until a friend and mentor talked to me about drastic changes he saw in my work. He helped me regain confidence by realizing there is nothing about my style that needs changing. Looking back, I'm so thankful for that conversation, but that doesn't mean owning up to my insecurities has been easy. I wasted a lot of time and money going down a path that led to nowhere, and I actually had to re-teach myself my post processing style because I got so confused.

The good news is I do feel more aware of negative messages that are out there and more confident in my own abilities after this experience. I'm also hoping my experience will help others. You see, it doesn't matter if you're a photographer, parent, student, athlete, business professional or something else entirely. We are all barraged with the message that we somehow aren't good enough, and that if we buy this one thing we'll magically be fixed.

What those ads and negative messages fail to show is that life is a process, and we are all in a constant state of learning, flux, growth and development. 

Trust me when I say the next time I see or hear something that tells me I'm not good enough, I'm going to remind myself that it's all garbage. I hope anyone reading this does the same. My advice? Trust yourself. Trust the process. Enjoy the journey.

I love weekends that are a mixture of work and play, and this last weekend exemplified that. It was wonderful! Saturday I met with fellow creative Gerry Suchy to go over details of a collaboration that we'll be announcing later in the year. Then I treated myself to a massage and facial! Three cheers for self love and care!

Sunday I got to spend time with these two cuties! Twins Judah and Ari ​turn one this year, and to celebrate mom, dad, grandma and grandpa threw them their very own birthday party, complete with cupcakes!  As you might imagine, it was messy and fun... and messy. They are both such sweet boys and I can't wait to share more from their first birthday party soon!

Sometimes the thing I love most about photography isn't the photos themselves, but the stories behind the photos. This Mare Naturals session, for example, isn't just about the simplistic beauty of all-natural, handmade body products. It is also the story of three women coming together to turn a dream into a reality.

The story starts with Ebise Bayisa, a #bosslady here in DC who is the genius behind the Mare Naturals skin care line. She uses Ethiopian beeswax in her products, and is committed to "living her brand" by shopping local and incorporating more natural ingredients into all aspects of her life.

As Mare Naturals has grown, so too has Ebise's vision for her company. A few months ago she decided to rebrand and enlisted the help of graphic designer Christy Batta to create a logo and look that speaks to the natural elements in her products. Together they created the beautiful bee logo you see here.

Once the redesign was completed, Ebise turned to me for brand images. She, Christy and I worked together to create a look that enhances the all-natural elements of these products. I might be biased, but I think we did a bang-up job!

It's been amazing to watch Ebise grow her brand and her business over the last few years, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store!

WHAT:
Taste the World in Fenton Village
#TTWFV

WHEN:
Sunday, May 21
1 p.m. - 6 p.m.

WHERE:
Silver Spring, MD

WHY:
Because community, food and fun!

I can't believe it's May already! Here in Silver Spring, the start of May means Taste the World in Fenton Village is just around the corner!

This unique festival showcases Silver Spring's plethora of locally owned, globally inspired restaurants! I'm proud to announce I'm once again the official photographer of the event! I can't wait! You can find photos from the 2015 event here.

For those who aren't familiar with the festival, here's what you need to know: The event is styled as a restaurant crawl. Participating restaurants will have sample appetizers and tasting plates ranging in price from $2 to $5.

You can learn everything you need to know about Taste the World, including a list of participating restaurants, by visiting this website: http://tastetheworld.fentonvillage.org/

I look forward to seeing you there!

I had the most amazing time this weekend supporting my friend Dr. Ron Holt at HRC's Time to Thrive Conference! The conference is designed to teach educators how they can help LGBTQ youth, and Dr. Holt was there giving away copies of his international best selling book PRIDE: You Can't Heal If You're Hiding From Yourself. 

Ron took a lot of risks and made some major decisions to be at this conference, but I think he would tell you that it was all worth it. You see, up until two months ago, Ron was working as a psychiatrist, seeing patients. After some deep reflection and soul searching, he gave up his day job to pursue his passion: helping LGBTQ youth understand that they are beautiful and perfect just as they are. I'm so proud of him for following his dreams.

I couldn't think of anyone better to do this job. That's because Dr. Holt isn't just any psychiatrist. He understands what GLBTQ youth are experiencing because he is a proud, openly gay man who struggled with his own sexual orientation as a kid. Growing up, he was taught that being gay meant being weak and that the world didn't tolerate or have room for anything outside of heterosexualism. As a result, he struggled with anxiety, depression, social isolation and thoughts of suicide. He never had an LGBTQ role model in his life, and now he's working to be a role model to any young person struggling with his or her sexual orientation or gender identity who might need one.

To achieve this goal, Ron combined his personal story with his expertise as a mental health professional into two books. The first demonstrates that it is okay to be part of the LGBTQ community and shows what happens when people try to or are forced to suppress who they really are, and the second is a companion coloring book full of positive affirmation of self love and self acceptance.

You might be wondering how I know Dr. Holt and that's where this story -- at least I think -- gets really cool. Dr. Holt and I went to the same small college in Nebraska called Wayne State. Each year, as part of his mission to help LGBTQ youth, Ron comes back to the college to speak. A few years before I met Ron, my best friend came out as lesbian. As crazy as it may sound, her coming out was actually a defining moment in my own life as well. I saw the struggles Molly faced as a queer teen in Nebraska and felt compelled to help in whatever small way I could. So when I heard Ron speak, his words hit me on a very deep, personal level. We had an instant connection and never lost contact.

Ten years later, Ron asked if I could assist him at this conference and I jumped at the opportunity. But it gets even better. He and I were not the only graduates from our college to attend! Ron also enlisted the help of two other alumni, Max and Eric. Max graduated from WSC in 2012 and now leads a LGBTQ center at a community college in Minnesota, and Eric lives right here in D.C.! Being able to connect with other WSC alumni who I hadn't previously met was awesome! Being able to share with them this incredibly important experience is something I will never forget.

I know from everything I see around me that being an LGBTQ youth in America is not easy. But I am confident that, because of organizations like HRC and people like my friend Dr. Ron Holt, it will get better.