I turn 35 this month and wanted to celebrate in style, so Cliff and I booked a vacation to Mexico. Lemme tell you, jet setting to a tropical climate in the middle of winter is like magic! The white sand beach... the palm trees... the warm salty air... They do wonders for the soul!

We stayed at the Valentin Imperial Riviera Maya, near Playa del Carmen in the Yucatan Peninsula. The resort was expansive and beautiful, and its staff was incredibly friendly. The Valentin's pristine beach, extra large swimming pool, and town-square style plaza gave us plenty to do during the day. In the evenings we sampled gourmet food from four of the resort's six restaurants, enjoyed live music, and specialty cocktails at its themed bars. Our last night at the resort was my favorite -- all guests were treated to a Mexican-style fiesta, complete with Jarabe dancers and a Mariachi band.

We ventured off the resort one day to visit the eco-themed amusement park Xcaret, photos of which I'll share in a later post. For now, enjoy these images from the grounds of the Valentin Imperial!

Back in college, when I first picked up a camera, I never dreamed I'd take photos professionally. Almost two decades later, and it's crazy to think I've had this little side hustle since 2013! Photography has been such an instrumental part of my life, and has opened so many doors for me -- from new friends to some really unique and incredible experiences.

Here's a look back at some of my favorite photos from the last decade!

It's crazy to think we bought our condo nearly FOUR years ago! In some ways it feels like we've lived here forever; in others, it feels like we just moved in last week. One thing's for certain: We absolutely adore this place, and enjoy finding ways to make it our own. Home improvement projects can be so fun!

Our most recent project -- turning our long, winding hallway into an art gallery -- was months in the making, and we're thrilled with how it turned out. Just look at these before and after shots!

I've got to give Cliff all the credit here. This project was entirely his idea, and he encouraged me to display my own artwork in our home -- something I've never done before. He was also the one who did ALL of the taping, priming, and painting, and who changed the light fixtures from those old, ugly flush mounts to something more gallery-esque. 

Being a photographer, we had hundreds, if not thousands of images to choose from to display. We went with a Nebraska theme, because of all the photos I've taken, these ones we both feel a deep, emotional connection to. (Scroll to the bottom of this post to see the eight images we chose). We also purposely chose canvases, instead of framed photographs, because of the experience you get with them. Unlike framed images, there is nothing separating you from the art. You can walk right up to each canvas, see the texture and color, and touch them if you want to.
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It's hard to believe we lived with such a bland space for nearly four years. I love how bold and vibrant our hallway has become, and of course adore the subject matter. Each of these images means something special to us and I'm so glad I get to look at them every day.

Want to see more home improvement projects? Check out what we did to our bathroom and this sweet floor-to-ceiling headboard Cliff made! 

Four months.

That's how long it's been since I've last blogged, and since I last posted anything of significance on Instagram or Twitter. The reason? I needed a break. Between crazy current events and the time suck that  social media has become, there was just too much unwanted noise in my life. 

The stress of it all didn't seem worth it. So I stopped. And I listened. And I used my time differently. 

For me, taking a break didn't mean disengaging from the political reality/hellhole in which we now live. It meant taking a break from my own creativity. For four months, I didn't publish or amplify a single blog post. I didn't post anything on or look at Instagram. I didn't check Twitter. And for one month, I didn't touch Facebook.

Here's what disengaging from social media taught me:

Burnout is not always recognizable.
So much of my photography business is about getting eyes on my website, which means keeping a blog. Even when I don't have photos to share, I feel the need to find something to write about.  That means brainstorming ideas, writing posts, keeping an editorial calendar, amplifying my blogs on social media, and engaging on those platforms as much as possible. It is enough to be a full-time job, except that I already have a full-time job working in the labor movement. Between photos, blogging, general business running, and labor activism, I can easily put in ten to twelve hours a day every day. And that's what I did for months on end. I was so wrapped up in all of this work that I failed to realize how much I was working. I know, that sounds weird, right? But GO became my standard mode. Resting, relaxing, and doing things deemed "unproductive" started to become foreign concepts to me. I didn't realize how extreme my situation had become until I forced myself to stop creating and start living.

There is value and joy in just being.
Not only had I forgotten what it was like to read a book, watch a movie, or just have down time, but I failed to recognize how important tranquil, unproductive moments in life really are. Yes, much of that can be attributed to working too much... but taking a break from social media also made me realize just how much time I spend at the computer. Time that could be spent doing other, healthier things: like engaging in conversation, walking outside, listening to music, or just thinking. That's the problem with social media--even when we're alone with it, it takes up space in our mind. There is something truly beautiful and peaceful about having the freedom to turn inward and tune out the rest of the world. Too much time on social media took this away from me.  

Comparison is a dangerous game.
As a photographer, I look at images. Lots of them. All the time. This includes images of other photographers, no matter their genre. Any good photographer will tell you not to compare your work to the work of others. I've told myself and readers of this blog that many times. But it's always easier said than done. Before I gave up social media for four months, comparing myself to other photographers became a daily routine, and a depressing one at that. Where I saw perfection in others' images, business models, and success, I found only flaws and failure in mine. Taking a break from social media gave me much-needed relief from this self-depreciating behavior and, as a result, I feel more confident in my own self and my work.

Change is okay.
Checking social media multiple times each day became part of a regular routine. Breaking that felt strange at first, but it taught me that change, even in this one, small way, is good. It's healthy.

Creating can be therapeutic. It can also be a shield.
During times of high stress and uncertainty (say, like... now) there is no denying that art, be it writing, painting, photography, dance, or theater, can be incredibly therapeutic. But it can also act as a near-impenetrable shield from life. In the months before I hit my  breaking point, I was so focused on work and churning out content for this blog and my social media channels that I didn't have the time or energy to fully digest the news or engage in discussions or debates about current events. Why does this matter? Because conversations matter. Shielding myself from the raw reality of our world prevented me from growing, learning, engaging, and acting. Since taking a break from social media, I've been able to do deep self reflection, learn from the world around me, and make changes in my personal life that align with changes I want to see in the rest of society.

I am happier.
Less stress. Less drama. Less fucks to give about things that don't actually matter. 

I've missed you, @Yogitastic.
There is one down side to my break from social media: I've missed out on happenings in my community and the musings of my neighbors... including the hysterical rants of brain buyer and yoga instructor Sam, aka @Yogitastic. Seriously, people. If you're looking for a little humor to go with your anger, this is the account to follow.

I'm more than a little behind on blogging... but that's okay. Life takes a lot of twists and turns, and right now I'm at one of those super twisty points. That's not to say things aren't good, though.

Life is always good when I get to spend time with fellow creatives, and that's exactly what happened this weekend. Sarah of Hooked and Loopy and I got together for a product shoot! If you don't already know, Sarah is the genius behind the crocheted animals you see above. She makes more than 70 different creatures of all sizes, ranging from adorable and petite to large and whimsical. One of my favorites is her Shakespeare doll, which will be featured in an upcoming blog post -- so stay tuned!

I also took time out of my weekend to get back into a hobby I did a lot as a kid: painting. All those twists and turns I mentioned above? They've created a lot of stress, so painting is really a way for me to get back to basics. I painted and drew nearly every day as a kid, and miss those moments of quiet, creative solitude. It's been nearly 20 years since I've picked up a brush, but I've really enjoyed experimenting and practicing techniques I remember from childhood art classes. Below are two of my most recent creations.

Today’s blog post was supposed to be a continuation of the “finding your style” saga I started two weeks ago… but after the events of last night, I knew that had to change. Instead, today’s blog post is about Cliff. Well, more specifically, it is about us -- and our love for each other.

My day job has been growing increasingly stressful. For the last few months, I’ve been feeling emotionally drained and extremely demoralized. Cliff knows this and of course he cares, but I never expected him to care so much. Last night after another bad day, he told me how beautiful I looked in the dress I was wearing and asked me to help him pick out something just as handsome for himself. Then he let me know that we were going out. He didn’t tell me where and refused to answer any of my questions – it was a surprise.

The place Cliff whisked me off to wasn’t far from our home, but it is special to us. When we arrived, a reservation was waiting, and we were taken to a table in the back where virtually no one else was sitting. It was like we had the place to ourselves and for the first time in a very long time, we focused on nothing but each other.

It was lovely, and exactly what I needed when I needed it. Most importantly, it was a necessary reminder that life exists outside of work, and that taking time to focus on each other is what matters most.

Last night’s surprise date also made me realize just how special our own relationship is, how lucky I am to have someone in my life who loves me as much as Cliff loves me, and all the reasons I fell in love with this man in the first place. I don’t talk about our relationship on this blog often because it is private and something that’s just between us. But I also know we have something special, and I felt some of that should be shared with the world.
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So, without further ado, here are 8 of my favorite things about us.

We eat dinner together almost every night
This is a tradition my parents started and one I’ve carried through to our relationship. It makes me so sad when I hear that not every family eats together because this is one of my favorite moments of every day.

We're both awed by each other
I still remember the first time I ever saw Cliff, and I knew there was something different – something special – about him. Thirteen years later, he still takes my breath away, and I know I do the same for him (He’s told me so!). If someone would have told me 14 years ago that in 14 years from then, I’d come home after a bad day at work and Cliff Starkey would sweep me off of my feet, I wouldn’t have believed them.

We make a good team
Having a life partner you feel passion for is everyone’s desire; but having someone you can problem solve with, in my opinion, is equally important. And that’s one thing I love about me and Cliff: whether we’re traveling, dealing with difficult people or solving a home-ownership crisis, we make a great team.
 
We’re both from Nebraska
Silver Spring and D.C., especially, are true melting-pot cities. There are people here from all over the world, and we know so many couples who met here but are originally from different parts of the country – or even the world. That’s great for them, but I couldn’t do it. Nebraska is part of me, just like it is part of Cliff. Having someone who fully understands what that means, who gets my jokes and references, and who realizes homesickness for a fly-over state is real is everything.
 
We don’t follow traditional gender roles
Our relationship is definitely a modern one, and that’s one thing I adore about us. When it comes to house chores, Cliff does most (if not all) of the cleaning and car repair. I handle finances and cooking. And we share laundry.
 
He likes my cheekbones and I like his freckles
Like most people, we both have insecurities about our own bodies, but when we look at each other, all we see is beauty. Cliff loves my cheekbones and I adore his freckles and green eyes.
 
We both love animals
Considering we both generally like animals more than we like people, this one is important.
 
We've been together longer than most other couples we know
Cliff and I aren’t married, but we’ve been together since I was 19 and he was 22. Other than our parents and a handful of friends, we’ve been a couple longer than most of our married friends have been married… in some cases, by double or triple. That’s something I’m super proud of.

I hope everyone out there had a lovely weekend. For me, it was the calm before the storm. I've got a double header next weekend, with Paul and Sarah's wedding on Saturday and Taste the World in Fenton Village on Sunday! It's a lot to pack into two days, but I know both events are going to be awesome!

Part of what made this weekend so great was the time I got to spend with my friend and fellow creative Christy Batta. Christy came to me with a really unique project: she needed photos for her website that showcase both her design talents and the physical elements of some of her pieces. This session was a challenge for sure, but by working together we accomplished some really cool things! I can't wait to share more soon!

Christy and I have done a lot of collaborating in recent weeks, and she isn't the only creative I'm working with on some really cool things. There's a lot going on behind the scenes, all of which will be revealed in due time.

With so many projects on my hands, I've been thinking a lot about self care and relaxation and what that looks like to me. That's what I'm using Memorial Day Weekend for! I've got some fun things planned, including a day trip with Cliff to Calvert Cliffs State Park. I've heard great things about the park -- including the fact that you can go hunting for sharks teeth there -- and after an intense grading/finals season for Cliff and so many back-to-back photoshoots and project for me, it sounds like the perfect couples getaway. Just thinking about the fun we'll have there makes me smile :)

I had the most amazing time this weekend supporting my friend Dr. Ron Holt at HRC's Time to Thrive Conference! The conference is designed to teach educators how they can help LGBTQ youth, and Dr. Holt was there giving away copies of his international best selling book PRIDE: You Can't Heal If You're Hiding From Yourself. 

Ron took a lot of risks and made some major decisions to be at this conference, but I think he would tell you that it was all worth it. You see, up until two months ago, Ron was working as a psychiatrist, seeing patients. After some deep reflection and soul searching, he gave up his day job to pursue his passion: helping LGBTQ youth understand that they are beautiful and perfect just as they are. I'm so proud of him for following his dreams.

I couldn't think of anyone better to do this job. That's because Dr. Holt isn't just any psychiatrist. He understands what GLBTQ youth are experiencing because he is a proud, openly gay man who struggled with his own sexual orientation as a kid. Growing up, he was taught that being gay meant being weak and that the world didn't tolerate or have room for anything outside of heterosexualism. As a result, he struggled with anxiety, depression, social isolation and thoughts of suicide. He never had an LGBTQ role model in his life, and now he's working to be a role model to any young person struggling with his or her sexual orientation or gender identity who might need one.

To achieve this goal, Ron combined his personal story with his expertise as a mental health professional into two books. The first demonstrates that it is okay to be part of the LGBTQ community and shows what happens when people try to or are forced to suppress who they really are, and the second is a companion coloring book full of positive affirmation of self love and self acceptance.

You might be wondering how I know Dr. Holt and that's where this story -- at least I think -- gets really cool. Dr. Holt and I went to the same small college in Nebraska called Wayne State. Each year, as part of his mission to help LGBTQ youth, Ron comes back to the college to speak. A few years before I met Ron, my best friend came out as lesbian. As crazy as it may sound, her coming out was actually a defining moment in my own life as well. I saw the struggles Molly faced as a queer teen in Nebraska and felt compelled to help in whatever small way I could. So when I heard Ron speak, his words hit me on a very deep, personal level. We had an instant connection and never lost contact.

Ten years later, Ron asked if I could assist him at this conference and I jumped at the opportunity. But it gets even better. He and I were not the only graduates from our college to attend! Ron also enlisted the help of two other alumni, Max and Eric. Max graduated from WSC in 2012 and now leads a LGBTQ center at a community college in Minnesota, and Eric lives right here in D.C.! Being able to connect with other WSC alumni who I hadn't previously met was awesome! Being able to share with them this incredibly important experience is something I will never forget.

I know from everything I see around me that being an LGBTQ youth in America is not easy. But I am confident that, because of organizations like HRC and people like my friend Dr. Ron Holt, it will get better.

​It's such an honor to represent our college and our home state of Nebraska at a conference dedicated to helping GLBTQ youth grow and thrive. I can't wait for this experience and look forward to telling you more about it soon!

Two weeks I wrote about the crazy detour I took when I let insecurities take hold and convinced myself I needed to find a better or different style. ​This week, I thought it would be helpful to actually talk about style, what goes into it and healthy ways any artist, photographer or creative can develop a style unique to them.

First, some knowledge I wish I could have bestowed on my younger self: ​

Everything I've read and everything I've internalized talked about finding a unique style -- a style no one else has. The problem with that, at least for me, is the insane pressure it puts on the artist. I kept telling myself my style wasn't unique enough and that led me on a  quest to fix something that wasn't broken.

Art shouldn't have to be that hard or stressful. Instead, I'm rephrasing the statement: Make art that looks like you. We're all unique individuals who have unique experiences and see the world through one pair of eyes -- our own. By definition, that means the art each of us creates is unique. The challenge then, is not about creating something extraordinarily different, but creating an extension of ourselves.

More than anything, I've come to realize that style isn't as much about the end product as it is about the process that gets you there. There's also no magic formula that can lead any artist to their style -- it is something that is developed over time through free flowing trial and error.

If you're a photographer, artist or creative struggling to develop a style that suits you, I encourage you to look at the whole picture. Start by identifying the tools you have to work with, identify which tools you LIKE working with, and then decide which tools will bring you to your end goal -- whatever that may be. Experiment with what you have at your disposal until you find something you feel comfortable with, and that feels right for you. You can build from there. Finally -- and most importantly -- trust your gut and follow your heart. They will not lead you wrong.